Gaslighting me

You’re gaslighting me
Ever since you began, I’ve been trying to find myself
It’s a little difficult when you keep readjusting my focus
I tried to be happy and you often made me feel broken
I would be happy, and you change my mood like hocus pocus
At times it felt hopeless
I know you have diagnoses, but you deny them
I used to think maybe you were in hypnosis
But you’re just a hostess of an atrocious mind
I think about us getting along every time I’m smoking; I just want us to get along
And my mind is in a dangerous place because when it’s tired of pain it becomes very explosive